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It's Not Just Me
Monday 3rd March, 2008 21:28 Comments: 6
I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks this about the "Are YOU Interested?" application:

These are things that will make me hate you.

1. When you type like a moron.
I don't expect you to have perfect grammar, spelling, and punctuation, not by a long shot, but iF YoU'rE TyPiNg LiKe ThIs, I will get angry and click no before I even see anything else. Type in all lowercase if you have to, or in all caps. Either one would be far better than having my eyes raped. Why put in extra effort just to make yourself less desirable anyway? That kind of seems counter-productive. Maybe the reason that you're lonely is that you make it very obvious how stupid you are.

2. When you talk about your boyfriend in the 'about me' section.
"I have a boyfriend who I love! Are you interested?" Hell no, I'm not interested! Why do you even have this application?

3. When people have no picture and no information.
All I know about you is that you're a girl named Ashley. I'm sorry, but my standards are not that low.

4. When you are not the only one in your picture.
Are you the attractive black haired girl? The drunk blonde? The fat guy? I have no idea. If there's a person and a dog, I'll assume you're the person. If there's a woman holding a baby, I'll jump to conclusions and assume that the baby isn't the 22 year-old with a Facebook account (unless the about me leads me to believe otherwise). But if there are two people in your picture who are both girls of similar age, how the hell am I supposed to know which one's you? At least go into paint and draw an arrow that says, "me" pointing at you in the picture. If I wanted to gamble, I'd just close my eyes and click the yes button repeatedly. Fix your damn picture.

5. If you sound like a hooker.
If you put that obviously-naked-shoulders-and-up-shot of you and your gal pal as your profile picture, then changed your information to say that you're from Fort Dirty, you'd better have one hell of an about me section.

6. When your 'about me' section just says, "Click YES on me!"
Wow! You want people to click yes on you? I never would have guessed that! I thought that you got the application so that you could feel rejected on a much larger scale. Or maybe you're just fishing for clicks from people who are too nice to say no. I realize that's the default message but, hey, here's a concept: change it.

7. When your name is Heather.
Personal taste: I just hate people named Heather.

8. When you have a picture that your face is not visible in.
You can say that you're short and skinny with blonde hair and blues eyes all you want in your 'about me' section, but that's not a suitable replacement for a clear shot of your face in your picture. If you won't show me your face, I'll assume that it's because you're ugly. I don't click yes on ugly people.

9. When you're boring.
The 'about me' section limits you to 255 characters. That isn't very much. This means that you should cut the crap and tell me the really important things. If you choose to put, "I'm a freshman just trying to live it up", I will assume that the only thing about you that's even remotely interesting is that you go to school and you think that fun things are fun. Boy, howdy, you sure sound like a keeper!

I definitely agree with 4. And I think there should be:

10. When you're married/in a relationship, but your AYI profile says you're single. Don't get pissed off with me if I poke you or message you to say hello, I wouldn't do it if you weren't lying, I'm only interested in someone that's single.

This probably leads to another rule:

11. When you're married/in a relationship. If you're not single, you're not allowed to tease us or tell us you're interested. Just fuck off until you're single. I said FUCK OFF!
Avatar Fab - Tuesday 4th March, 2008 10:48
I would add that I expect to see a photo with some amount of upper body as well just to prove that she is not a 20 something stone person with a slim face! I have seen that trick used too often.

I would also add a personal gripe of: I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR MUSIC TASTE! If all you have to tell me about yourself is what music you like and that music is important to you then this tells me you don't have much of a personality or any interesting hobbies! Nothing like seeing too much rubbish to know bullshit when you see it!
Avatar Robert - Tuesday 4th March, 2008 11:18
Agreed on the upper body/face thing. I know a few people that are quite pretty with slim looking faces, but have fuller figures. Equally, some people with chubby faces can be very slim. I tend to appreciate pics where you can see their full figure, so there's less of a surprise.
Avatar Fab - Tuesday 4th March, 2008 11:30
I am pretty sure that quite a few girls spend ages taking loads of photos from different angles with different light etc until they find one that is 'complimentary' and then just post that one photo. It leads to surprises!
Avatar Robert - Tuesday 4th March, 2008 13:25
I think I'm a bit guilty of that too, I often take 3-4 photos and keep the best one on my cameraphone.
Avatar Fab - Wednesday 5th March, 2008 13:59
Hehe you don't exactly need to make yourself look any slimmer! I thought it was more a case of take the photo during a period when you have actually had a shave! :p
Avatar Robert - Wednesday 5th March, 2008 14:20
Pretty much :P

But I also try to avoid ones with goofy smiles, or ones where I look too skinny (but that only applies to the naked photos :P).
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